Resting Around no. 1: “Exactly Why I Am Easy” | Autostraddle

While Im loathe to intervene on the lawn very truthfully portrayed into the Emmy nominated, vitally lauded ‘

The True L Community’

, enough time has arrived for Autostraddle to throw their particular proverbial cap to the intercourse column band. Because it’s very hard to obtain true stories by actual lesbians about lesbian gender on these right here internets. So now I present “Sleeping Around”: a line documenting my personal sexual conquests, mental bitch-slaps, carnal fumbles, and commitment follies. Please be aware i am making use of the terms and conditions ‘dating’ and ‘relationship’ extremely broadly. Obvs all brands are changed for protection — my own mostly, and those we come across.

Column 1: WHY I’M REALLY EASY

On Monday my loud, bisexual, makeup products artist pal Georgia invited us to the closing nights Spotlight — LA’s oldest homosexual club, a pleasant dive becoming elbowed out-by increasing rents in an ever more yuppified part of Hollywood. First things very first: I make my option to the bar, order a G&T, and plaintively ask the bartender if they have any peanuts. Rent’s due and I’m skint, thus I was trying out reducing way down on nonessentials, instance food. He kinda rustles right up a bowl of pita chips, and I also rabidly look in whilst acting to be controlled by small talk around myself and attempting never to seem too-much like a feral youngster.

After a while one of several darkly clothed twenty-somethings buys me personally a glass or two, and now we start chitchat/vague impressions of feasible interest which can be impractical to identify. She is 28 and a reality TV manufacturer for one with the cable sites, concentrating on kind of bro-ish gross/freak out type reveals. She’s appealing, otherwise rather — blue-eyes, blond hair (with noticeable roots), and considerably more zaftig than I usually favor but excellent big boob personals and intelligence-wise she is far above normal — witty, dark colored sense of humor, and positive not conceited. As the night goes on she appears interested but slightly aloof, type of like a stylish bro flanked by approval searching for sorority pledges at their unique basic mixer. I really don’t especially care plus reality benefit from the presence of an intermittent intelligent bro, providing they’re isolated from the pack. After several rounds of whiskey and a late evening treat we head back to the woman Los Feliz house to possess beverages. Obvs.

We both know the drill and after a quick online game of remove consuming game poker (I’m constantly altering the principles to this nevertheless practically requires drinking should you winnings, ingesting even more should you decide drop, and advising women to remove different items of clothes.) connect on her couch next bed. Layla is actually sadly on her duration but looks really thinking about demonstrating the woman hand dexterity. Its impressive, and outcomes feature two good orgasms. This can be a pleasing surprise because typically it takes more than simply fingers for me, and I also cheerfully snuggle into sleep, making a mental notice to ask for recommendations when we actually ever get together once more.

The second morning my terrible, unspeakably miserable hook-up body alarm goes down at 6:30. Jesus. It really is a God-awful evolutionary occurrence remaining from school: whenever We sleep away, the security unfailingly goes down between 5-8 am, and that I awake prepared, energized and able to tranquility. Typically we’ll merely say bye and go, but she drove. Ughh. As my human body wriggles into awareness Layla brings me closer and fleetingly gets doing give me personally an additional fuck before dropping back once again to rest. “Well that is wonderful,” i do believe to myself “but what in the morning I expected to do now?” Trapped until she awakes, I sneak off to do a fast early morning after fix upwards in the bathroom, seize a magazine through the living room area, and attempt not to switch the web pages as well loudly.

We check-out brunch. The woman is profoundly hungover and I am obnoxiously perky (another part impact from the devil’s security) as soon as she falls me personally off I contemplate a so long hug but alternatively merely smile, say “Bye dude, many thanks for the ride”, and quickly enter my building.

Layla is not the only real dyke who can channel bro.

Epilogue: weekly after our very own night of summer lovin’, we glance at my personal telephone, pause, subsequently punch ‘delete’. We exchanged a number of texts, but never ever met upwards- she did not embark on the evenings I did, and neither people asked to see both once more. As somebody who enjoyed “He’s Just Not That towards You” way too much (I respond really to violence) if someone doesn’t program effort, I really don’t reveal interest. Since hidden website link between Layla and I also disappear, i can not assist but feel a pang of… regret? Maybe not precisely. Missing lust? No, not really. It really is a sliver of lonenliness that punches small openings in my own gut. Layla was actually funny and refreshingly original, and I wouln’t have inclined a pal like that. Very perplexing things about becoming a lesbian is navigating relationships together with other homosexual ladies: are we ideal become buddies or fuckbuddies or permanently after? The hell am we expected to understand what to complete (or not to complete) with some one i simply came across? All the time we are told through the mothers/shrinks/friends the traditional wisdom of interactions: powerful interactions are built from a foundation of friendship.

It is it possible to construct a significant relationship from an intimate commitment? If yes, exactly how will it be done?

Original illustration for Autostraddle.com provided by and copyright laws
Michelle Mishka Colombo
2011